and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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