can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
