Taylor Swift is so right about you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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