he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I want a musical about memes.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
