4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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