yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
