Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
