after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
