You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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