He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i need some magic done to my vagina
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
