Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Randomize
