We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
