My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
