I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize