We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
