i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
