There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
