If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
