I think I died a long time ago.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
