In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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