I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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