Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
