I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize