I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Alive.
So much puke
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
