you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
