I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
