I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
