I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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