I wannas sexs uuuuu
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
