I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
