once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
