It's Friday. Sex?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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