Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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