I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's blow job season.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
