She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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