So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
