well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
