found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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