you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
