margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
