There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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