I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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