What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
