We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
