I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
