Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
