I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
