I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
