this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she pinky promised me she was 18
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
