we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just had sex on a roof
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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