I'm lost and stupid without you.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
