just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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