im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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