He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
