Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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