He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
