Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My dick has a subreddit
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
