I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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