so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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